It's a condition that seems to appear almost every autumn in Hopkins County. The ol' boy is driving down the road, in the country, and suddenly stops his vehicle to watch a group of deer go across a field. The "fever" starts out rather "low-grade" but escalates as the weather gets cooler and the season approaches. The symptoms seem to really go to the extreme when one is exposed to his hunting buddy for any extended period of time. We're talking about the disease known as "Buck Fever" and it's rampant in Hopkins County this time of year!

 

You can be certain the symptoms of the disease are in full swing, when you see ordinarily "sane" men begin to act like little boys, again. They're running to the feed store to buy deer corn and forgetting to eat. They're setting up late at night going through the latest edition of Field and Stream, and seem to talk on the cell phone more than ever before. That's just the beginning of the disease.

 

When you really know that "buck fever" has gone to the max, is when the hunter's wife expresses her desire to go spend a weekend shopping and the hunter gives her a credit card and tells her he has no problem with it, just as long as she lets him go hunting with the boys. Now, that's a sure sign that his mind is totally "in the woods!"

 

No bucks in this group!

 

"Is that Bambi?......Maybe we need to let him grow a little longer?"

 

The following may describe the "typical" saga of a day's hunt for many local deer hunters:

 

The Deer Hunt

1:00 a.m.  -  The alarm rings and you hit the "snoooze."
2:00 - Your hunting partner arrives and drags you out of bed.
2:30 - Throw everything in the truck while "gulping down" coffee.
3:00 a.m. - You leave for the woods.
3:15 - You drive back to the house to get your gun you left by the door.
3:30 - You drive 20 mph over the speed limit to make up for
lost time to get to the woods before daylight.
4:00 - Set up camp and forgot most of what you needed.
4:45 - Head into the woods toward deer stand.
6:05 - Sit in deer stand, feet freezing and fingers numb. Two deer arrive.

6:06 - Take "aim" and squeeze trigger.
6:07 - "Click!"
6:08 - You load gun as you watch the biggest buck you've ever seen,
scamper over the hill.

8:00 - Head back to camp.
9:00 - Still looking for camp.
10:00 - You realize you don't know where the camp is.
Noon - You get desperate and fire gun for help - eat wild berries for lunch.
12:15 - Run out of berries - and two deer return, but out of range.
12:20 - Strange rumbling in stomach.
12:30 - Determine that you ate poison berries.
12:45 - Help finally arrives.
12:55 - Rushed to the emergency room at hospital to have
stomach pumped, before you die.
3:00 - Arrive back at camp, with stomach cramps, but determine
still be a "real trooper."
3:30 - Leave for the deer stand once again.
4:00 - Return to the camp for bullets.
4:01 - Load gun and leave camp again.
5:00 - Empty gun on squirrel that is annoying you beside the stand.
6:00 - Arrive back at camp to see the big buck grazing nearby.
6:01 - Quietly reload gun.
6:02 - Fire gun!
6:03 - "One Dead Truck" with a hole in the hood!
6:05 - Hunting partner arrives at camp to witness your shot and is
dragging the big buck you saw that morning!
6:08 - Repress strong desire to shoot partner.
6:10 - Dejectedly go to the truck and leave bragging partner behind.
6:25 - Going down the road and truck boils over in the middle of
nowhere. Raise hood and rifle hole through the block.
6:30 - Start walking down road.
6:35 - Stumble and fall into road ditch, drop gun in the mud.
6:45 - Meet-up with a big black bear.
6:46 - Takes aim at bear.
6:47 - Fire gun, it blows up, barrel plugged with mud.
6:48 - Mess in pants as bear growls ferociously.
6:49 - Climb tree as bear "nips" at your heels!
9:00 - Bear finally gives up and leaves.
Midnight - Drag into home, blisters on feet, and dragging.

Next morning - sleep 'til dinner, listen to all the "excitement" of
the shopping trip, and suggest that you go out and eat a steak
for lunch. Spend Sunday afternoon watching the football game
and swear you'll never go deer hunting again!

(But,' long about August the "fever" hits again! Especially when
you go over to the hunting buddy's house and see that twelve-point
that he has just got back from the taxidermist!)

 

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